Mother of invention

Every time we order from Nude Sushi, they always give us a buttload of soy sauce packets and disposable chopsticks, way more than we will ever need for a single meal. They sit, melancholy, unutilized in our utensils drawer.

[Tangent: are the objects SAD that they are not being used, or are they HAPPY that they get to live to see another day before being chopped up to a billion little bloody, screaming, tearful pieces by the monstrosities under the aegis of EBMUD?]

Of course, the chopsticks being an invention of the ancient Chinese, we figured that they could be very useful multi-taskers (the only uni-tasker in the kitchen is the fire extinguisher, according to Alton Brown, but what about the power stick hand blender?). To date, we have used disposable chopsticks for the following purposes, sometimes more than one in a single day:

-Unclogging the port into which we pour laundry detergent in our washing machine
-SRS using the chopsticks to break his poop in half so it could flush down the toilet because the log was too long, too solid, inserted into the toilet bowl at an unfortunate angle, and just too damn resilient to die without honor or glory
-Projectile weaponry