About and FAQs

What is this I don't even.
Every once in a while, the universe tells me in funny ways how much it hates me. This blog is where I document and interpret those moments for your entertainment pleasure. This is also a running record of legal evidence to be used in my defense when I die and the Big Man Upstairs is trying to decide how deep into Hell he wants to send me.

So who are you?
I am a Bay Area kid and proud California Golden Bear, currently transplanted in Nebraska as a fourth-year medical student at Creighton University School of Medicine. For two years before coming to the home of Arbor Day, I lived in Washington, D.C. I was born in Taiwan, which means you probably don't want me to take you out for Chinese food because I'm going to order all the weird exotic crap that I love and disgust you.

Your posting schedule is highly irregular.
That's not a question.

Why don't you post more regularly?
This blog isn't a source of income for me or anything, just a form of creative catharsis that I've been doing since my third year of college. So I will write whenever I damn well please. Also, considering I only write in here when unfortunate/funny/stupid things happen to me, I would be really, really sad if I had enough material to write more than once a week.

Is your poor relationship with your mother reflective of your lack of a father figure in your life growing up?
Who are you, Dr. Phil? No, it's not. She just nags the crap out of me all the time and I don't respond well.

If you were a fruit, what kind of fruit would you be?
I would be a peach. I am warm, fuzzy, and delicious on the outside, but inside I'm nothing but a cold, dead, hard pit.

You write a lot about drinking. Are you an alcoholic?
Next question.

You know, admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery.
I said next QUESTION, dumbass.

Okay, fine. Have you ever heard of The Sequoia Center? It's a beautiful treatment and recovery center wi-
We're done here.