What is Americana?

A true American. He's, like, just beneath George Washington and Jack Bauer.

There are new strangers sleeping in our apartment. I have no desire to meet them.
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I tried PinkBerry for the first time yesterday. It is, without question, the shittiest froyo I have ever tasted. I took one bite and just left the cup with the cashier and shot him a look of disappointment and anger, turned around, and walked out.
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Being an immigrant from a tiny East Asian island nation whose governmental structure is basically modeled after that of America, I thought I had it all figured out. After spending 16 years here in the good ol' U. S. and A., I am, for the first time, whoring myself out to the patriotic nature of America.

I am paying $15 to feel patriotic at AmericaFest 2008 at the Rose Bowl. AmericaFest. Subtle (read: "SUB-tul").

So what is Americana? What makes us who we are as cheeseburger-chomping, hot-dog-inhaling, horse-piss-beer-brewing, guns-a-blazing, freedom-fries-declaring, big-stick-waving, hegemony-pushing, too-fat-and-lazy-to-do-jack-squat Americans?

Hell, I don't know, but here's a gem:

(11:03:20 AM) Yatin: hey i like to think in some instances i am actually lazier than a normal american
(11:03:55 AM) Yatin: altough like a true american i am on my second drink of the day
(11:04:43 AM) Gordon: a true american would be completely wasted by now