In a stunning hilarious AP photo released by Xinhua News Agency of China, we see that the Chinese police have upgraded from walking like us common chimps to utilizing the next wave in military technorogy, the Segway. Running be damned! Using the legs are for suckers and athletes.
To be honest, it really isn't that intimidating when you're dressed in all black with a badass suit but you look like you're on a amusement park ride at the age of 6, you have to pee really badly, and you're holding what appears to be a toy gun that goes with the new line of "Ghetto Barbie."
So come on, champs. Protecting the public and ensuring that the olympic games run smoothly is great and all, but just stop this. Please. The Segway really can't go much faster than a person running, and you guys especially are SWAT-trained, so stamina should not be a big deal for you.
Segway PT: $5,145.00
Human legs: Priceless (like a mother's love, not the good kind of priceless - BS)
There are some things money can't buy. Sometimes those are the best things.
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