"THIS IS ESS EEE SEE SPEEEED"

Wikipedia fascinates me to no end. One of the little things I like to say is, "Wikipedia teaches me so much, I think I should pay it tuition." To a certain extent, that's true for me at the university level - I have learned some pretty valuable information from that lovely bland website that netted me quite a few points on exams, information that my professors conveniently refused to disclose.

The great thing about Wikipedia is the constant updating. As a makeshift bullshit social experiment, I wanted to see how long it took in real-time for a new critical piece of information to be included on Wikipedia. The NFL Draft is the perfect fit for this because everybody gets the information at the same time, so all you have to do is open the page and hit refresh until the information is updated.

Jason Smith was drafted by the Rams at 1:15:02PM, PST. At that point, the information for Round/Pick had not yet been filled in. At 1:16:27PM, PST (last available load of Jason Smith's Wikipedia page), the information had been updated to Round 1, Pick 2, St. Louis Rams.

Mark Sanchez's page was literally updated as soon as he put on that J-E-T-S hat. I watched him put the hat on, hit refresh, and the color scheme had changed from Crimson and Gold to Green and White and all the appropriate information had been filled in. I'm guessing that the teams have hired some people to do this stuff for the franchises.

We remarked that some people have no lives, but then again, what the hell am I doing constantly hitting refresh on Wikipedia pages?

We Live in a Fabricated World

2:25AM. Channel surfing.

SRS: "Oh snap, Vivica A. Fox and Jean-Claude Van Damme!"
Me: "In what?"
SRS: "Does it matter? It got two stars. It has JCVD. It HAS to be good."
Me: "Did you just call that ass-clown by his initials?"
SRS: "Shut up. So what?"
Me: "MLK. JFK. MTT. NPH. These are great men, brave men who earned the privilege to be mentioned by nothing more than their mere initials. Everyone knows who they are merely by the combination of the initial marks of their names. This is a revered brotherhood, the most prestigious Princetonesque eating club that gets their way. YOU TAINT THEIR FRATERNITY WITH THE NAME OF THAT BLOND, TALENTLESS JACKASS."
SRS: "It's called 'The Hard Corps.'"
Me: "Oh. Let's watch it."

There's Not Much to Say

You know, I don't specifically remember a whole lot about anything that happened yesterday, but looking back, I don't think there's really a need to specifically form any memories. I seem to remember buzzing around for what must have been hours looping my "LA Summers" playlist, which includes a good sprinkling of JT, Timbaland, Jason Mraz, Chris "Beat 'Er Down" Brown, and the one song that defined my entire summer of 2008, M.I.A.'s "Paper Planes." (See The Great Seth Rogen Adventure, August 2008.)

There's something about contemplatin' and pontificatin' in a separate mind, writing it all down somehow, and then looking back on what you and your friends discussed and realizing that most of it makes no sense to a normal person, yet there's always one or two really good points that filter down through the process and the five of you somehow managed to polish a big ol' cow dung into a finely tuned de Beers diamond worthy of a night of your girl's best lovin'. Jonas Brothers, your purity rings are killing your creativity. Let your brains breathe for a bit.

I don't know much right now. All I know is that there's a receipt for four Double-Doubles and two fries sitting on the kitchen counter and that only one Double-Double is left right now. I should go get a blood lipid panel soon to make sure my bodily fluids didn't become 30% cheeseburger overnight.

Asshole Moment of the Day

News came today that Kevin Garnett of the Boston Celtics might be out for the entire playoffs this year due to a knee injury.

Danny Ainge, General Manager of the Boston Celtics, had a heart attack today.

Coincidence? I think not.

Note: Laughing about heart attacks is almost never okay.

Screw anonymity

Today, I woke up at 5AM to finish my Immunology Lab "problem set" due at 1PM today, a series of questions that might as well be a full-length lab report anyway. Just as I was finishing it at 8AM, I got a class email announcing that the deadline had been extended to Friday. Now I'm sleep-deprived, tired, and jittery from my first dose of my short-term Prednisone regimen. FML