Maturity Is Overrated

Two years ago, I bought a white board that we could hang on the wall near the front door of Ellsworth House (or Casa Durant, depending on whom you ask, and by whom you ask, I mean Doc is the only one who ever called it that) so that we could all keep track of things and leave messages for each other. Instead, it simply became a board of endless doodles and jokes that made us laugh so hard we refused to take them down for months (especially those involving racial stereotypes because, again, we were immature assholes for the most part).

Poignant example, if you please: in a “Would You Rather” we played once, the question was “If you were stuck on a deserted island and your only companion was a mermaid/merman (depending on your preferred gender), would you rather have a top half human, bottom half fish (like the standard mermaid/merman we all think of), or would you prefer the opposite, top half fish, bottom half human?”

I was the only dissenter to ruin the consensus. Three guesses which option I answered, first two don’t count. The folks were horrified and my justifications went ignored. I feel this might be a fair and totally, completely, absolutely unbiased forum to justify my answers: as proven in the Futurama episode “The Deep South” in which Fry et al. head down to Atlanta (now sunk under the ocean, effectively making it a really ghetto Atlantis permeated with Coca-Cola) and Fry decides to stay behind because he falls in love with one of the Atlantan mermaids, Fry can’t have sex with his new mermaid love because she has fish parts for genitalia. That is my entire justification for choosing the fish-top, human-bottom mermaid. Also, companionship is overrated.

But back to the point: I’ve put up the white board in my room in my new place and felt really good about it when, two days ago, I actually started using it for practical purposes – writing down tasks, grocery lists, designing primers and figuring out better plasmid ligation protocols, etc. Unfortunately, like all too many New Year Resolutions, that didn’t last for long. Here’s what is currently on my white board:
-Portuguese Breakfast (linked to UrbanDic for your convenience and delicious pleasure)
-Bucking Bronco (also linked to UrbanDic for your LMAo convenience)
-Learn to drive stick (pretty sure that one’s not going anywhere for a while)

And that’s it. That’s all I have. A sad de-evolution of what could have been an impressive way to make myself seem more mature and responsible.